What Are You Willing To Sacrifice In Your Pursuit Of Success In Business

Balancing our well-being, burnout, and society's definition of "success".

The absence of an expression on her face said everything.

It wasn’t until this exact moment that I realized things were far worse than I had ever realized.

She didn’t directly comment on my situation, instead, she gave me an example that told me more about her concern than any remark would have.

She gently described the story of two clients, both on long-term disability, completely unable to work, all after their bodies could no longer take the toll of their burnout and exhaustion.

And then she told me how much I reminded her of them. How alike our circumstances, our emotional states, and presenting symptoms were… Right up until the point they reached their breaking point.

I reminded her of them? I thought to myself. Her words pierced straight through me.

No one had ever seen me like this before.

She saw through every mask I’d been wearing attempting to hide it all.

The successful businessman. The happy digital nomad. The one who always says yes. The one you see everywhere because of how much content they produce. The one who you can rely on to solve your problem because they’re constantly leveling up. The one who you think “has it all together”...

It became clear.

If I stayed on this course… She feared that I might physically collapse.

In an effort to create a proud outward image of success, I spent years striving for a life I thought I wanted and attempting to build a life where I thought I would finally be accepted.

So there I was, knowing that my path if I continued, was only going lead to my breaking point.

And not the kind where I just need to take a week-long vacation to feel rejuvenated again.

The kind that sent a jolt of concern through my therapist.

The kind she feared would lead me to an ability to do any work, of any kind.

My first reaction wasn’t even the emotional duress. It was the fact that I am self-employed and don’t have benefits or insurance to fall back on if I can’t work…

The thoughts started to run rampant through my already busy mind.

My wife is going back to school…

I’m the sole “breadwinner” for our family…

Should I try to get a job where I have benefits to fall back on?

How can I do less when I still feel like I’m not doing enough?

Sacrifice was the only option.

We are only human. And uniquely human at that.

We have a maximum capacity, kind of like a battery. Except my batteries ran out a long time ago and the sheer grit and will I’ve been pushing through with, had run out.

I had a full-time contract that paid the bills.

I had freelance clients on the side that I worked with after hours.

I had a business partnership I was invested in growing.

I was working on building my personal brand through social media content.

I was investing time each day into a new skill that could lead to a potential career switch (with benefits) in 1-2 years.

She was clear. I simply had to do less.

Sacrifice was the only option.

The most interesting part when I reflect back on this now…

Is that we sacrifice whether we want to or not, the only difference is if we want to consciously decide what to sacrifice, or if we want that decision to be made for us.

What I didn’t realize in my attempt to do everything…

Was that I was sacrificing my well-being. And I was sacrificing my relationship with my wife.

I began to suffer from insomnia.

I built a reliance on stimulants, so strong, that I could not afford to support it anymore.

I didn’t want to do anything but sit and watch Netflix after work because I was so exhausted.

I began to struggle to muster up the energy just to walk to the beach on the weekends.

My mind was overtaken by a fog. My ideas and inspiration were fading and my short-term memory was all but gone.

Even taking vacation no longer felt like it was recharging my batteries.

All symptoms that greatly concerned my therapist.

Sacrifice had been happening all along.

But thanks to her, for the first time, I had the level of awareness to consciously decide what I wanted to sacrifice.

If I wanted to protect my well-being I would have to sacrifice something else. I couldn’t keep working the equivalent of 3 jobs while being a YouTube Creator and developing proficiency in a new job-worthy skill.

So, I made the choice to drop the side hustle.

And this was really fucking hard. Because this extra income is what allowed us to live in a million-dollar apartment in the most expensive city in Canada.

Sacrifice, I told myself.

I made the choice to stop pursuing the new skillset and close the chapter on this pursuit.

Sacrifice, I told myself.

Many other changes were and have been made. And many more still to come.

As the fog slowly began to lift I began to see glimmers of hope.

I got little jolts of inspiration when I was at the gym. 

I would have little ideas pop up in the shower and when I went on my afternoon walks.

I’d end up 2 hours into a walk along the beach and have completely lost track of time.

As I peeled back the layers of exhaustion and burnout, I could see signs of “me” coming back to life.

This has been a time of rediscovering who I am.

I’ve gone down many rabbit holes, read many books, and worked with multiple mentors, and therapists in an effort to improve my well-being and learn more about me and my needs.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that we all need different accommodations.

Everyone’s “burn rate” is different. Everything we do burns energy, and if left unchecked can lead down a dangerous path to burnout.

Some people may be energized after a day with 8 calls. Whereas some people may be exhausted after only 1 or 2, like me.

When we begin to shift our mindset from society’s perception of “success” and towards “purpose and happiness” we need to understand that sacrifices may need to be made to accommodate our unique needs.

As you can see, even if we don’t consciously choose, they might be being made for us.

Sacrifices can be big, like choosing to raise a family over career advancement.

Sacrifices can be small, like saying “no” to a dinner invite on a Friday night to stay in and recharge.

Sacrifices can be anywhere in between, especially in business, like choosing not to post on social media, choosing to focus on podcasting but not being on YouTube, or making less money so you can work fewer hours.

We need not compare to others, as difficult as it may be with social media, because our burn rates are unique and what we choose to sacrifice is a personal choice.

When it comes to prioritizing our well-being, sacrifice may be the price of admission.

Less is more.

Slow is fast.

But the choice, that is your own.