When Your Perfectionism Gets Triggered
It took me 3 days to listen to his feedback.
A slight tremble in my hand as I pressed play… And that feeling in the pit of your stomach - the one you get when you receive bad news - washed over me as I finished listening.
As perfectionists, we want feedback to improve.
But when that feedback is negative it can trigger negative perfectionistic behaviors.
I had spent the last 4 months producing more content than ever before. Daily posts across Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube Shorts, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Weekly long-form letters (like this one) that were turned into Podcasts and YouTube videos. And I could feel momentum beginning to build as my reach grew and a trickle of leads started to come in.
All it took was 2 short voice notes to trigger my perfectionism.
I’ve received negative comments in the past…
“Trash Vid. Completely useless”
“What is the point of this video?”
“Too many people, making nothing of substance, already.”
“This is the worst delivery of a message I have ever seen.”
These messages from people on the internet that I didn’t know never really bothered me or affected my creation.
But feedback from someone I trusted just hit differently.
Even though it came from an entirely well-intentioned place the feedback sent me into a downward spiral, I began second-guessing myself, I began overanalyzing what I was doing, my productivity dropped, my creativity disappeared, and my content creation almost came to a complete halt.
My motto before this had been quite simple:
Heal myself through helping others.
Lead by example.
Don’t strive, don’t compare, don’t judge.
Share my experiences.
And most importantly, have fun.
Those 5 items summed up my content creation game plan.
Have fun, share, don’t judge. Just create.
Now, I was being forced to face the fact that I wasn’t doing all the industry standard best practices to build my business with my content.
And being called out brought out my inner perfectionist.
I wasn’t niched down to a specific avatar.
I wasn’t speaking directly to their pains and problems because I didn’t know who they were.
It wasn’t always clear “who” I was writing to.
But there are a couple of very important things that were overshadowed by this and I didn’t initially notice when the feedback was received.
I discovered how much I loved writing.
I did receive extremely positive feedback for my long-form writing. I’ve received a few lengthy email replies about how much my message resonated with people.
I’ve received comments on YouTube and TikTok videos from people going through similar experiences and how they appreciated my sharing.
With time I was able to gain perspective on the situation as a whole.
The feedback I received was accurate…
My content/writing could be improved to better attract leads and clients and grow a specific audience.
What the feedback didn’t encapsulate…
My content was working because it brought me joy, and my message was helping people or I would not have received positive email replies and comments.
Now I want to be clear…
This was not an overnight realization.
I work very intentionally on my mindset through personal development, mindset work, reading, therapy, and more.
As much as I would love for things like perfectionism to be “cured”, I don’t think that is the point. It’s about arming ourselves with the tools to recover, course correct, and keep going but understanding we will still land in the penalty box from time to time.
The initial feeling of the feedback was painful, and it did temporarily slow me down, causing me to overanalyze and hyper-fixate on what I was doing.
I knew it was coming from a good place and I tried hard to openly receive it.
As the vail of perfectionism and overly critical thinking began to lift I was able to gain perspective and begin to adjust.
I stopped producing my podcast.
I decided to focus on writing and YouTube.
I set time aside to better evaluate my avatar - time created by the changes above.
I set a few very simple and attainable goals for 2024 which include writing at least 24 long-form letters and producing 24 long-form YouTube videos.
This “realization” took 1-2 months.
During which I produced much less content as that time was often replaced by “thinking” (read: overthinking)
My new focus is to go deep vs wide.
For my content,
This means focusing on writing and YouTube and not trying to produce content for every platform.
That change while seemingly simple will challenge me to do “less” and focus my efforts in fewer places. Allowing me to improve my skills there and with time create more effective content for fewer platforms.
I’m constantly re-reminded I cannot do everything.
(No matter how hard I try)
I know how “simple” it can be to repurpose content for more platforms.
I have lists of AI tools that can even do this for me.
I even write about it frequently.
I am going to spend the next 3-6 months challenging myself to go deep vs wide something I’ve never done before to see what I can accomplish.
As a creator, entrepreneur, and business owner, I feel much of this journey is uncovering what works best for us.
That is what I am (constantly) doing.
Taking in the feedback, and charting a course, evaluating, and adjusting.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to do things.
I hope this message rings true.
Everything can work. What matters is what works (or works best) for you.
This was reinforced as I was scrolling LinkedIn a couple of weeks ago.
I witnessed multiple thought leaders posting their content.
They were not the best writers.
They didn’t have the best hooks, best images, or best video editing.
Here’s what I did notice:
They were the most consistent, they were passionate, and their personalities showed through as they shared their experiences.
As I combine this insight, something I’ve always believed, with the feedback I received, is that even as I refine my strategies I cannot lose myself in what I am doing. I must remain authentic in my voice, and my passion, share my experiences, and find the best means to consistently do this.
It’s not just about writing better—or better hooks—or better-defined avatars.
We are always a work in progress but do not let that lack of perfection stop you from sharing your gift.
-Landon
PS: Here are a couple of letters you may enjoy:
The Consistency Threshold:
https://landonpoburan.substack.com/p/the-consistency-threshold-pt-1
6 Warning Signs You’re Going To Burnout From Content Creation (And What To Do About It):
https://landonpoburan.substack.com/p/6-warning-signs-youre-going-to-burnout