Coffee Dates With My Wife Taught Me More About Business Than A $50,000 Mastermind

Seeking a deeper-rooted purpose instead of seeking money and face was the greatest gift for both my marriage and business.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

It was 2018 before I drank a cup of coffee.

I’m not sure if they considered 16 pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup “coffee” based on the jaw dropping stares I got while they rang up my order.

I was the 29-year-old white guy ordering a sugar-laden whipped cream-topped dessert and calling it “coffee.”

Even though I could flip a coin to see if they got my order right, I didn’t care.

You see, I didn’t care about drinking coffee.

In fact, I hated it.

I was searching for something entirely different — A coffee date with my wife.

I grew up watching my parents go for coffee.

I attended countless business meetings at coffee shops.

And I’d watch friends consistently catch up over a cup of coffee.

The awkward moment would always ensue where I’d announce “I don’t drink coffee” and haphazardly and embarrassed I’d buy a bottle of water.

I never felt like I fit in growing up and sitting at business meetings or among a group and being the only one not drinking coffee instantly brought me back to feeling like an outsider.

My wife never wanted me to feel like this.

Even though I gladly accepted that reality for her. I knew she also didn’t want to sit and drink coffee alone.

For years I felt like I was missing out on this valuable time.

I wanted to fit in.

I wanted to be able to “go for a coffee.”

And most of all, I wanted to be able to spend that quality time with my wife.

So in 2018, I started.

16 pumps of sugar-free vanilla with extra whip my wife and I sat down in a little Starbucks in Scottsdale, AZ, and enjoyed our first “coffee date.”

Fast forward 6 years…

Coffee dates are our favorite thing to do together.

We’ve enjoyed the finest coffee shops across Western Canada, the US, Mexico, Colombia, and Bali.

Road trips? The first trip is coffee.

New city? The first trip is coffee.

Saturday afternoon? Let’s go for coffee.

#1 past time? Trying new coffee shops.

I drink coffee every day.

While I have 4-5 Splenda in my Nitro Cold Brew, I’ve widdled my espresso’s down to 3.

I’ve gone from 16 pumps…

…To buying an espresso machine and perfecting the art of espresso and making Americano’s for my wife in the morning.

It was never about coffee.

There was a deeper-rooted purpose I sought.

This purpose allowed me to do things I never thought I’d do but brought me so much joy (and years later, love).

This was one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned when applied to business.

We chase things like money, followers, and validation.

But it’s not what we actually seek.

There’s no deeper-rooter purpose driving consistent effort.

And sadly, we too often never realize the joy of what we truly desire.

If all I focused on was drinking coffee…

…Odds are I wouldn’t still be drinking coffee, enjoying coffee dates, or spending that quality time with my wife.

Much the same if I focus on making money or gaining followers…

…I may never realize the life and business I’m trying to create for myself or my family.

It took me years to connect these dots in business.

In the process, I experienced anxiety, overwhelm, burnout, and depression while I tried to white knuckle my way to make more money.

Social media became the ultimate trigger as I tried to do it all, never, saw results, and every morning I’d see “my friends” posting about how much they made or how fast they were growing.

Slowly I realized something was missing.

Seeking a deeper-rooted purpose was the greatest gift for both my marriage and business.

Landon